I actually cannot fathom the amount of life I’ve lived while writing and creating this album, and I cry as I sit here trying to do so. 

It all started when I left my abusive boyfriend of a decade, Gabe. We were in Berlin, and he owed me tens of thousands of dollars and follow through on just about that many promises. (Like marriage and trust and taking care of himself.) He was really just a pothead who spent my money on video games. I was having feelings for someone new while on that trip with him (a coworker) after years of being held at arms length by what I thought was the only love I had ever known. I felt stuck trying to figure out how to handle it correctly, and it took me a while to say anything—but he could tell. Gabe got out of bed two days before we were meant to go home and said, “You’re so selfish. You can keep the tv.” And then he left me there. In Europe. Alone.

I spent that night at Kit Kat doing c*ke with strangers and eventually found my way home to NYC where I proceeded to live ten years of life in just a few months. This time in my life is what the final track of the album “New York City” is about. We were all just so “happy” back then. (Sarcasm)

There’s a reason this album doesn’t have a song on it about Gabe. He was written out of my story a long time ago. 

Before he finally wrote his last page in my book, he took everything he could from me. All our mutual friends are gone now. That’s what the single “best friends” is about.

I moved back to Atlanta in Feb. 2024 after falling in love with someone else who didn’t know how to hold me very well. (At all) I had to start taking Prozac because Hunter drove me so close to the edge of oblivion, I almost jumped off the roof of my New York apt a few too many times. The track “Autopsies” is about him, as is “Woman on Fire”.

That summer I got laid off from my fancy account executive job and said “f*ck it” I’ll work at the str*p club across the street. And so I did. I made $11,000 in two months, and left as soon as I fell in love again. This time I chose Sam, a closet conservative, coercively controlling love-bomber who forced me to blame myself for being r**fied and r*ped two weeks after we became official. 

I stuck around. Event went to couple’s counseling with him, hoping we could make it work. But it couldn’t, and I realized that in Dec. 2025 and ended. I made mistakes, but they didn’t warrant being unknowingly watched on a camera that he had put up in our house. This relationship, some other encounters with men, as well as my time at the Cheetah, is what “dreamgirl.” is about. I also wrote “Addict” about Sam, although I look back now and wonder how I ever felt that way.

Since returning home to NYC in autumn 2023, I’ve written many songs and finished others. 

“Daughter” and “The Martyr Who Martyred Me” are tracks about my complicated relationships with my family and growing up in a cult. 

“Depression is a Narcissist” is the most raw of all the tracks—recorded live at my stand up piano in my former high rise apartment in midtown.

These songs are meant to be an anthology of every part of my life that’s f*cked me up thus far. A ripping open of my chest in order to pour out the deepest parts of me, if you will.

I think you’ll find a little of yourself in it.

I am dedicating this record to my angel baby Ellie🪽 (my dog) who just left me this Summer. She was everything to me; a little silent witness to all of these pivotal moments in my life that shaped me and broke me open. Life feels very gray without her, and dedicating this art to her is the least I can do to give an homage to what her company meant to me along the way. 

Riley Stillwagon helped me bring this project to life in a way I never imaged it could come to fruition, and Evan Dangerfield mastered the project for us. Ezra Pounds, Jordi Lara, Sam Smith, Christian Pullen, and Paul La Duca’s musical stylings are featured here and there.

Here I am dropping a pre-release link for my debut album “Autopsy of an Archangel”. Also, please go pre-buy your tickets to my album release celebration at The Drunken Unicorn on October 28th. I’ll see you there—can’t wait.

Opening bands: Schmooze & Naomi. 

xx

Ad Astra 

Cover art photo by Rachel Grace White & Rayna Sklar ©